go school damn damn damn tired! didnt manage to sleep in english lesson.because was kinda high at that moment. after recess go for math lesson. wanted to sleep and once my head on the table and that stupid irritating weiliang keep disturbing dont let me sleep.keep asking me to do math as tmr is math paper 1. so in the end he finally let me sleep. and he ownself sleep also.haha.after math go for chinese and normally our chinese is at 4 joy class. then i go in and sleep while waiting for the rest.then grace come and wake me up say today have to go back to own class.then i wake up saw all the 4 joy people.feel damn blur so go back my class and continue sleep.untill 11.30am english paper 1 prelim. then when i wake up i blur blur thought i at 4 joy wanted to go out of the class and seriously i dont know what im doing. the paper was damn hard. too tired to think. and got not enough time!! 100% fail.after exam stay in class with agnes gail and marcus. do art all the way untill 4pm. and we faster anyhow paste everything that we have on the black board. some still havent do.lol. anyhow rush down to art room and hand up. after that go home. come home online awhile then ah seng want talk to me on the phone.so ask him call rachel. conference. when he talk , my first reaction was like. OMG! SOUND SO MUCH LIKE AHBOY!. the way he laugh , the way he talk sound so much like ahboy!!. so i make him say kanasai which ah boy always say. and still sound so much like ahboy.LOL! i keep asking him if he is ahboy!? haha. obviously not. and around 7+pm i was going to sleep. then my parents suddenly fight.my father drink martell and was so angry about my mother.again because of money.my father throw chair radio and everything that he saw. and he even push my mother on the floor.my mother fainted for a few minute. and they was crying. only me and my grandmother was there. was sososo sad to see them in this manner. my grandma cried too and of cause i did. really scare me.my father went out of the house, sitting outside and my mother wake up. at there KPKB and my mother go drink beer and her turn to go crazy,throw martel, cup, radio ,vase and everything that she saw.then the living room and kitchen all filled with broken glass.and i go step onto one glass and make my leg bleed like fuck.damn pain .i didnt know what to do.they want divorce ,lucky my mother friends come. then my father suddenly asthma attack. he cant drink one . he look so xinku , my mother turn back to normal and wasnt that angry. but now my father dont know whats wrong with him. damn sad.
things always come at the same time. got no confident for tmr exam.
im damn damn damn tired now.

my handphone alarm got problem. lucky suhadra msg and kumar called at the right time. talk to kumar untill reach school.school was like the same? stressed! having art from 10.30am to 1.30pm. then go for math and go 805 eat with gail agnes and go back for art till 4.30pm. go hougang mall meet rachel huiqi yvonne go popular buy things and go home . sleep untill 8+pm wake up. watch tv. and chiong my art. as tmr have to pass up by 4pm. so expected didnt sleep for the whole night.do untill 6am in the morning. bathe and rest on the bed for 15 minutes and now im going school.

last night conference with kumar and yvonne untill 3am like that.then this morning around 9+am leonard called. ask me accompany him go church.know why he want to go church? just to go there see girl. and he also damn stupid.want go there see girl still bring girl along with him.and i told him like that cannot la because want get to know girl cannot bring girl.if not that girl will have bad impression oh him.ahah. but he still insist to ask me go.but i didnt. continue sleeping and kumar called around 11+pm ask me accompany him go town shopping say he come back hougang call me back. so continue sleep.and suhadra so poor thing.kana detention cant take time leave.lol.

only get to wake up at 2+pm online . prepared untill 4+pm then ask dalton and lawinton go town with me kumar also.but dalton lazy go leh . so we change it to next week then go.anw tmr dalton court. god bless him.so stay at home then around 7pm go plaza meet kumar they all.huiqi came.play pool then go kopitiam meet yixian.and i went off to hougang mall and meet leonard.was suppose to go watch movie with him la. he idiot la.always bluff me. so walk around hougang mall. eat long john silver and slack at void deck.we can really chat alot.there's nothing we couldnt talk about. go hougang mall buy ice cream and he go vomit. go back void deck meet macus and walk to 401 slack. they're both bastard.ahahah!! having fun talking to them.they're real lame.go home around 11.30pm.
and im going to help leonard to create his friendster account.and of cause i will be the one helping him to takecare of his friendster account. and im going to upload this photo of his to his friendster.

he look nice in formal uh? haha. and behind him is macus and he actually ask me if his figure good anot!? LOL! okay end of story.

wake up at 3+pm. dreamt of manfred.he discharge.was so happy to see him.miss him so much.online and talk on the phone with kumar.actually going watch simsons with kumar and his friends.but kumar never go already. then was meeting leonard to go town together then he say he okay already come my house meet me.then talk to kumar untill 6+pm.leonard havent come so i call him he didnt pick up so i just take it as kana aeroplane. was meeting kumar at plaza.then suddenly leonard called so i didnt go plaza in the end .

go rivervale plaza to meet leonard walk walk and wait for yiceng and daniel to come. eat at mac then go void deck slack.then around 9.45 yiceng and daniel left home.so me and leonard continue slacking.around 11pm leonard friend come rivervale plaza fetch us and drive us to leonard house as his sister ask leonerd help her buy food then to compass point to pick marcus up.we wait and wait in the end he called and said he cant go with us as his girlfriend doesnt allow.poor things.

then leonard friend drive us to loyang the peh kong. his car is damn nice,is black in color and all those light inside are all in orange color.i love his car. car can only park outside and we have to walk all the way in. me and leonard go pray. then wait for all those flower car to come. saw meijun there too.lol.took lots of photo with leonard. his friend was soso lame. we keep walk in and out to check if the flower car have come already not. haha.then me and leonard was kind of cute? because we have to walk quite a long distance to get out and half way the road there's this very bright light and we stand infront of it and take photo. haha. very bright i swear.walk out and wait for the flower car. then we was like asking where is the driver as those flower car all very low. then me and leonard walk infront of one car and check it out. then the guy head pop out there and we were like laughing away. damn funny. so everything end at 1+am. leonard friend drive us home. reach home about going to 2am.

and when im going to upload all those picture into my computer and i found out that all picture gone. was so pissed off! lucky leonard still have some..
and dont know why today alot of people say me and leonard look like couple. first daniel and yiceng said that but they know we're not. then just now at rivervale plaza saw leonard friends then they ask if im his girlfriend.leonard answer no then they say i look like his girlfriend.then leonard set our picture as his msn display picture then his friends go ask if im his girlfriend ar and again he answer NO and they dont believe.LOL



do we really look like couple!? lol . see so bright! . haha

school was still the same la.lol.after school go eat at suki sushi and went home after that. sleep untill 6+pm wake up bathe and rush to hougang plaza to meet huiqi. play pool and gail yvonne and rachel came.told lawinton that his mum msg me. so funny . because last night lawinton missed called me then just now in the afternoon i msg and ask did you call me last night? and he mum reply. give me a shock of my life.told lawinton and we were like laughing away.go hougang mall food court and plus study.vicky came .around 9+pm go back plaza play pool and slack. talked to lawinton. and heard that just now at plaza got taiji.missed the show again. then talk about last time he and dalton experience of fighting.interesting and caiyan called.and i made him angry.i also dont know whats wrong with caiyan.whatever. go in raiders see kumar ah hong vicky babu rachel lawinton they all play counter strike. lawinton counter strike was so lousy haha. then talk to gail on the phone about something.slacked outside k pool then matthew tell me about he and his gf thingy. lol.kinda intresting. bus home with vicky. and conference with gail kumar and yvonne.

THURSDAY

school was the same.after school go suki sushi eat.and went home after that.use computer and around 6pm meet yixian at hougang plaza.wait for huiqi and yvonne to come. then walk to buy bubble tea and huiqi went home. then go joe's corner eat and go up plaza slack like usual again. go raiders see kumar ah hong baheng hong an patrick and joun leong play counter strike again. then kumar action so funny la when play counter strike. his head move here and there want. me yvonne and lawinton laugh like crazy.each time kumar died lawinton will say kumar relax la is just a game.haha. then lawinton come tell me say eh kia like ah hong.and they started spreading the rumors now. watever.go kopitiam accompany baheng eat and walk home around 11pm. talk to kumar rachel vicky huiqi and lawinton.and sleep at 2+am.

last night wait for kumar call wait untill i fall alseep within a few minute. because he called and say he call back in a short while. and i just fall asleep like that.wake up prepared and kumar havent sleep yet.so he called me and chat untill i reach school. school was the same.after school got N level chinese Oral.fail for sure. damn hard. i go say untill english. sian half.after that go home change and go hougang plaza at 5+pm to meet yvonne. suppose to study and i bring books out then that yvonne bring one storybook out only.slack like usual. see kumar patrick juon leong ah hong play counter strike. then go k pool slack. then go back radiers see kumar ah hong dalton august blah blah play counter strike. keep disturbing me and dalton by changing his nick to ' i love ivon'. damn pissed off. yvonne was using computer surfing friendster then go see untill ah hong friendster. his friendster kana hacked. haha ask him come in. dalton and lawinton come too . ah hong was damn dulan but we were laughing as it was so funny.then dalton and lawinton was like playing with ah hong hair and say ' ah hong relax dont angry' and laughing like crazy.haha. at first they tot was kumar the one hacked but think is not la.lol. then lawinton come tell me say what xiaobee like him. this and that blah blah. haha.so funny. then lawinton was like 'dots dot dots' .xiaobee even confess her love infront of lawinton and infront of so many people. like not paiseh want meh? whatever. see ah hong and joun leong play pool and around 9+pm walk home. reach home play computer and now talking to rachel.
my bill is exploding.so scare to recieve my bill sia.

saw his friendster. girl write testimonial for him saying what yesterday go rounding.
is either the girl is with him or they did contact each other.
and yet he tell me say he long time never talk to girls already.
and yes i know i dont have any rights to stop him from doing that.
anw why do i care so much again. im nothing to him.whatever.
i keep thinking back what leonard had told me.
and i decided to give up.i cant stand all kinds of jealousy.
maybe giving up is what he always wishing for.
so maybe he'll be happier this way.

today was such a happening day.same thing. sleep sleep sleep in class.damn boring. then during recess we were like waiting for table.then those guys finished eating their food. then me and huiqi was standing beside and taking over them.then when those guys go off got this two girl run to the table and sit. then me and huiqi was like huh? damn dulan. we keep staring at them. then after awhile they leave.bo liao. after school walking to gail bus stop to take bus home . then walk pass mac got one bunch of hougang sec people. so i find it familiar so i look at them. then the cecilia stare also.so keep staring then i didnt care much.continue walking.then cecilia and her two other friends stop me.they come confornt me. damn boliao la. come on la. ask them not happy come la. then they dont want.ask them want tio taiji isit . then they say they never want to tio. lame lor. if dont want find trouble then dont come confont to me la. so i ask them to go if there's nothing else. go home change and faster rush out to hougang mall to meet huiqi as her money is with me. so she and jonathan go town then rachel come. buy bubble tea then go plaza.on the way to plaza saw cecilia friend jiaxin they all which is vicky friend too.jiaxin did smile to me .so me and rachel was like intending to smile back then her another friend come bang onto me. i was damn angry. i turn and scold ccb.and blah blah.so walk off.and the more i think of it the more i feel angry.me and rachel walk back to hougang mall and find them. confont to them .called caiyan and kumar. caiyan came down after awhile. she didnt want to say sorry. her cousin talked to me say she wont say sorry there's only two way either fight one on one or bang her back.caiyan dont let me to fight one on one .and bang her was kinda lame and out of point. and i demand a sorry from her. she still insist on not saying. so we go hougang plaza joe's corner , kumar lawinton juon leong patrick was there.me caiyan kumar and that girl go another side talk. she ask me to say sorry too if i want her to say sorry. but i dont want.in the end she say sorry. and end of it. go up plaza play pool with rachel. cecilia was there too.and i didnt know suhadra called cecilia and say her. play pool half way caiyan ask me go toilet and cecilia say sorry to me too.after all they both wasnt really that bad la.
slack at k pool like usual. then kumar lawinton dalton patrick ah hong they all keep disturbing sen by using wet tissuse to throw at him. aha. he got angry in the end and he called his boss and scolded patrick. they all were damn dulan. keep saying him. sen almost wanted to cry.omg see him like that feel so bad.go 805 eat with rachel vicky gail yvonne pikachu . and go up plaza again. ehkia they all were still the same. keep giving us snack to eat.haha. go raiders see kumar lawinton ah hong babu they all play counter strike then go kopitiam pei yvonne drink water.slack at the bike area with kumar lawinton ah hong joun leong. then buidi daniel they came. and they intending to steal sen bike and park it at other place. use all kind of keys. and daniel was so experience la. lol.walk home around 11+pm.

lucky suhadra msg me in the morning. if not i would have late for school. almost late. damn tired.sleep sleep sleep. the weather was damn cold. mrs krishnah say friday is our self-declare holiday.ahaha., funny. after school stay back for dentention. suppose to end at 6.30pm. mr anba in good mood.release us at 5pm. go home change and come plaza meet huiqi and gail.eat at suki sushi.then i was sitting at that k pool chair. then i was too excited over something. the handsome got a gf.haha. then the chair fall.lol.damn paiseh.me and huiqi laugh like fuck.then we pull up the chair and continue laugh.then the chair fall onto my leg.fuck pain.then that huiqi keep laughing dont want help me take the chair.pain untill i cried. lucky lawinton help me take up the chair.if not my leg will be like pig leg.slack at plaza.go joe's corner with gail yvonne and sally to drink.then go up again.then me yvonne kumar go joe's corner find ah hong babu and joun leong. slack and chat there and went up. keep disturbing each other. like hey sen is your best brother.whatever. play pool with lawinton.can say i win la.haha.because the black ball is mingzheng help me shoot in.help lawinton look after counter . and went home around 12am. damn tired right now.

last night only get to sleep at 5+am. keep thinking and thinking. wake up at 1+am .prepared and meet gail huiqi and shirlet at 4pm at ktv. sing untill 7pm. then me shirley and gail walk to hougang plaza.btw suhadra come out from hostel home leave already.haha.shocked to see his msg.anw stay at plaza.slack slack slack. still the same. about 9pm walk to hougang mall with gail and sally to buy finger food and go home as gail have to go home already.kumar called ask me to wait for him or go blk 522 there to look for him . but i on the bus already.come home use computer chat with yvonne gail and sally for awhile.and now talking to kumar huiqi and lawinton.

sad.damn sad.why do i still care so much? haha.he care for me as a friend.ya just a friend.
and ya he dont have the need to tell me anything and he have his right to meet girl.
why am i still interfering his life? why do i still want to control his life? i feel like a bitch.
i'm not his whoever. haha! what can i do. sighs.

张信哲-从开始到现在

如果这最后的结局
为何我还忘不了你
时间改变了我们
告别了单纯
如果重逢也无法继续
失去才算是永恒
惩罚我的认真
是我太过天真
难道我就这样过我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最爱的人
为你等 从一开始盼到现在
也同样落的不可能
难道爱情可以转交给别人
但命运注定留不住我爱的人
我不能 我怎么会愿意承认
你是我不该爱的人
如果再见是为了再分
失去才算是永恒
一次新的记忆为何还要再生
难道我就这样过我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最爱的人
为你等 从一开始盼到现在
也同样落的不可能
难道爱情可以转交给别人
但命运注定留不住我爱的人
我不能 我怎么会愿意承认
你是我不该爱的人
拿什么作证
从未想过爱一个人
需要那么残忍才证明爱的深
难道我就这样过我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最爱的人
为你等 从一开始盼到现在
也同样落的不可能
难道爱情可以转交给别人
但命运注定留不住我爱的人
我不能 我怎么会愿意承认
你是我爱错了的人

wake up at 4+pm . so many missed call by huiqi kumar and sen. zzz . wake up faster prepared and rush to hougang plaza to meet huiqi. see her and jialuo play pool and we mrt to city hall. walk to pennisula to buy skinny jeans.sen called. ask want go meet him anot.but i dont want because heard from people that he isnt a good guy.then go look for jonathan awhile and we train back to plaza.play pool with huiqi. and patrick so poor thing.he accident.his bike fly. tsk tsk. then huiqi left home. so me kumar and lawinton go play counter strike. ah hong join in too. feel so noob. haa. then see them play counter stick. then sally ask me pei her go kopitiam eat. so we go down eat supper.yixian came then go up for toilet and i go down find kumar lawinton ahhong babu they all.slack and wait for yixian to come down.then we left home around 12+am. conference with gail yvonne and kumar untill 1+am. then all go sleep. so i was very boring now.
feel so damn sad right now. just cant stop thinking of what he write to that girl.
feel like asking him why he tell me that he cant take off but tell that girl that if she call him he sure find time out and go out with her. but im not his whoever anymore.and i scare by asking him he'll get to find me more irritating and ignore me again. heartpain heartpain.
feel like asking him to go watch movie (alone) with me. but he cant take off.even if he can take off guess he would be going out with that girl. he got so many girls already.and so many ' laopo'. and he want to know more girls.=( he can easily find himself a girlfriend. . sighs
fuck. i really hate to cry. i really dont wish to cry but everytime the tears just fall. i hate it. fuckshit

last night talk to kumar amd yvonne and made my things untill 4.30am.go sleep. didnt attend school today.suppose to meet huiqi at 9am to go her house make things.but i ended up waking up at 9.40pm. faster jump out of my bed and prepared. rush down to hougang mall meet huiqi. eat macdonald breakfast and go her house make thing. do untill 12+pm then go hougang plaza play pool and touch screen. give my 4 tickets to ah kow. saw leonard there.he wear button shirt, look so smart. very nice.haha. then around 2.15pm wake to hougang mall pei huiqi meet jonathan. then today hougang hub got our school racial harmony fair.so there will be alot of our school teachers there including MR ANBA.i walk to interchange take bus.then i saw mrs krishnah there. then i scare tio walk from another side. at bus stop saw joseph and samual quah.they say monday we go school we will get it from MR ANBA. our class got more than half a class didnt come school today. 20+ people ponten school.haha. only 10+ people in our class.MR ANBA was very angry. lol. good luck man. take 101 to serangoon interchange and walk to ah boy house downstair and pass him things. sen called and was suppose to meet him and kumar at hougang mall. but kumar say he dua him want so i also dua. pass him things and he send me to 684 to meet huiqi and ah be. OMG .feel so sad . miss so much sitting on his bike. i feel like hugging him but i dont even dare to touch him.i got this feeling he's finding me irritating thats why i don't dare touch him. and he actually care for me. he ask me go home early and ask me to take care. i dont really wish to get down of the bike. but i have to.feel so much like crying. go kopitiam slack with huiqi and ah be. accompany ah be as he's working there selling dvd.accompany untill 5+pm then we bus down to hougang mall. at hougang hub saw MR ANBA. we run ar.haha. go mall meet the jonathan again then go hub awhile. i ask ah boy so are we still going out together. he say dont think so. wah see the msg i cried. whatever. charge my phone at k pool. then play counter strike with huiqi yvonne rachel kumar patrick babu and the juon leong. go see his friendster and i saw him write to a girl testimonial saying 'if you call me i sure take time go out with you'. what does this means. got time to go out with others but tell me he cant take off. nvm maybe he really dont wish to go out with me.but guess i still choose to believe him. sit down at k pool . i cried. damn heartbroken.sighs. time pass fast.one month have pass after since we broke up.still the feeling for him remain. sen say he want treat me to supper and send me home.but i dont want. vicky came we go hougang mall and have out dinner then come back plaza again.huiqi rachel vicky went home. thengo down joe's corner with kumar lawinton and ah hong.heard got taiji but nobody leh. so just slack at joe's corner and talk cork. then suddenly joseph say got problem then we all run to my school outside there. go in harmony park. got damn alot people.wth. me yvonne and lawinton sit another side. then go there awhile only and we go back plaza. slack slack slack. then eh kia they all keep taking sweet up and give us. how nice.haha. then go down kopitiam with kumar they all again.then k pool close already so we go woodball. see matthew they all play number ball awhile and cab home.reach home around 2am like that.damn tiring.

talk to kumar on the phone last night till 3.30am. damn tired. wake up at 6am plus. prepared then sen called . talk to him untill i reach school. today damn tired. sleep for all lesson. haha.after school go back home changed and around 4+pm go plaza meet huiqi gail and yvonne. eat suki sushi. then we cabbed down to takashimaya. then dalton and lawinton wanted to come town with us. but they never tell earlier.when we reached then dalton come ask me. after buy stuff walk to PLAZA SING. buy my stuff for letter. damn expensive la. one sheet of paper $5.25.wah . play arcade and cabbed back to hougang plaza. touch screen and slack. sit in the kpool counter all the time.haha.fun. helping sen to look out of the counter.sen give me a stich again.haha. this time the soft toy is bigger.

go hougang mall shop for more things but huiqi say i already spend alot on it. anyway also nothing to buy so ask yvonne pei me go yixian house there take CD from her walk back to plaza go kpool try the CD.haha. then sen me give the CD that he burn for himself.he wanted to give me money buy sweet. but i didnt take. sen asked me to pei him untill 1am then he send me home.but im too tired.then around 11+pm me and yvonne was about to go home.then at joe's corner saw lawinton kumar ah hong ah bee and mingzheng. and was being physco to stay. slack with them then go back up plaza. slack slack slack. wait for kumar and ah hong play pool finish. play untill 1am plus. go downstair slack. wait for sen to come down. then sen send me home. the helmet was too big la.then when he speed damn fast the helmet like want to fly . he must see me walk in my house then he go off. whatever. talk to yvonne. and i still got lots of thing to do right now. bye.

this song is damn romantic.got it from my sister friendster.
she was listening to it.and i find it so nice.she said it was people wedding song.
so i decided to copy.very nice.
maybe when i have a boyfriend i'll sing this to him.haha.

FROM THIS MOMENT ON - SHANIA TWAIN

(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give
anything and everything and I will always care.

Through weakness and strength, happiness
and sorrow, for better, for worse, I will love
you with every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are
the one Right beside you is
where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I
have been blessed
I live only for you happiness
And for your love I'd
give my last breath

I give my hand to you
with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you,
can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers
from up above

All we need is just the two of us
My dreamscame true
because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise
you thisThere is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love as long as I
liveFrom this moment on

go school as usual. got public canning. 4 guys tio canning. nice 1 . sleep for the whole day. tiring. after school go plaza take file from huiqi then go back school for art club. end at 4.30pm. bus home bathe and rush out to plaza to meet rachel and huiqi.slack at plaza then we go kopitiam eat.yixian came. dont know why everyone started to talk about the sweet memories with their ex boyfriend/boyfriend. gail talk about ah kow of cause. rachel talk about caiyan. huiqi talk about frankie,me of cause ah boy and yixian talk about daniel and ah john. haha. nice memories.

miss him so much. haha. after slacking go up slack. then lawinton patrick sen they all playing with the laser. point at others then when lawinton pointing at ah hong, ah hong reaction was like so funny la. haha. like catching flies like that.we laugh like fuck.then they all was like making fun of ' ah man '? haha. funny. see them disturb here and there.then got this boyfriend beat his girlfriend up. saddening. everytime i see them they was so loving one . help sen look after counter for awhile. thought during this awhile nobody would come. but so many people come punch table. busy like hell. haha. fun. and walk home after that.reach home around 10+pm.

reach home bathe. my sister come home. so let her use the computer and i got nothing to do so i go accompany daren play. we playing catching, running around the living room to the kitchen. he catching me. then he suddenly go tak cane. come chase after me and wanted to beat me. so i run out of the house and close the door without knowing that the door go make untill his leg.he suddenly cried. i didnt know what happen. his leg bleed. felt so heartpain.felt so guitly. father come scold me. sometimes i really dislike my father. i know it was my fault but dont have to say me untill i purposly go injured his leg.quite pissed off. after that sayang daren. talk to him

see his leg. i said sorry to him. he didnt angry with me.he never ask me to go away.i ask him.pain pain? he replied ' you make me pain pain (with the innocent face )'. i say sorry.then he like shy like that.then he change topic. haha.so cute.love him so much.use computer. then my sister suddenly pass to me 4 zouk ticket.haha.who want? come ask me.talk to sen awhile.and i really find him so much like ah boy.not because of the look.i dontknow how to say.just now at plaza when standing behind him really got the feeling like standing behind ah boy. nvm.nothing else more to say. bye

TUESDAY

after school go home change. then go plaza meet huiqi.play pool.loser punch.and i win.how nice.yvonne and gail came. eat suki sushi.then we go hougang mac to do our art.go popular to buy stuff and go back plaza.go joe's corner with kumar lawinton ah hong and babu. slack awhile then go up play t0uchscreen.then lawinton and patrick like crazy.give out medicine and say is estacsy. haha. go huiqi house at 10+pm. do stuff. cut and spray.go home at 12am.

wake up late. father send me to school. after school go hougang mall pei rachel and yvonne eat macdonald. temtation. feel like eating but no money go shop shop again. haha.go home take money bathe and rest awhile.around 6+pm go plaza meet finna huiqi and yixian.go exchange all the small notes to $50. haha. then go hougang mall buy the stuff. go back plaza play pool .slack awhile. huiqi left earlier. slack then gail came at 9+pm kumar also came. so me gail yixian kumar go joe's corner slack. ahbe came later. and walk home around 11plus. talk to yixian and gail for awhile. and now going to sleep soon. boring.
got not enough time for so much thing.
prelim are coming!
i havent learn lots of maths topic!!
i havent finish my ART!!
i havent think of what to do for him!
stress.no time to play now. got to be serious.

wake up at 2+pm. play computer. eat bathe and everything.4.30pm meet gail at mall walk to plaza meet yixian and caiyan. go up play pool with caiyan. rachel came. then we go mall study a little while. then come back plaza play pool with huiqi. then rachel gail all slowly go home.keep going up and down.help sen go 805 buy food. then pei kumar go buy color dye. haha.he wanted to dye silver white color. then huiqi say look like a moon from behind. then dalton say like zebra.haha. funny sia. then go up plaza. just step out of the lift caiyan pull me and huiqi back to the lift again. wth. then go down awhile go up again. then pei caiyan wait for cab then go raiders see kumar lawinton patrick and ah hong play counter strike. help kumar play two round. starting only died! slack slack slack. then pei kumar go joe's corner drink water . and after that walk home.reach home around 11+pm like that.damn tired.

wake up at 2+pm bathe then dalton want play pool with me i tell him he look very fierce, like never smile one then he say he will smile more .haha. so go plaza meet huiqi and gail. go up slack slack awhile. then gail help one aunty to wear bra! SO FUNNY! whatever. huiqi went off. so play pool with dalton. play afew rounds of pool with him. and he really keep smiling sia. see him smile make me even more shy. wtf. lose all the way. and he keep giving in. as what i heard from gail.haa. go suki sushi eat.was so boring so faster ask kumar come.more and more people come. then got dont know what problem. haha. intresting. nothing much happen. go toilet and slack with alot of people.haah. keep slacking in toilet with same people like rachel gail yvonne yixian sally caiyan liting cherie shui qing and forget already. now plaza girls toilet become the source of slacking.haha. cause cant go in kpool. how saddening. whatevr. was force to go down kopitiam with rachel yvonne caiyan bob and jiki. and jiki was like using ah boy perfurm. haha. nice smell. i used to dislike that smell so much. whatevr. after that when going up plaza at joe's corner matthew ask me go sit with him and lawinton. then yvonne and rachel come join also. chit chat awhile. listen to them talk can really laugh want. aha. then vicky came. go up and down. slack here and there la. then sen give me a soft toy. so cute

how nice. then accompany kumar go withdraw money then buy food and go up plaza. bob offered to long bang me cab home. haha. then wait for sen to finish work. bob help him count money . i help in abit too. haha. suppose to end work at 1am. then counting got something wrong. then keep count over and over again. end at around 1.30am. go down stair. bob sen ah hong and their friends teaching ah heng how to ride bike. we stand there see. so scary! he keep brake. then the bike keep fall aside. haha. then bob staying there helping them. so he cant longbang me cab.and he give me $5 to take cab home. haha. so nice. then reach home around 2am like that. sen actually want send me home.he scare i dont want .and he also scare i scare to sit on his bike. lame. talk to yixian and yvonne. then yixian kup. so me and yvonne call kumar. and so now talking to kumar yvonne and sen. boring.

this few days photo.

ME AND PIKACHU!

HUIQI AND ME!

WE PIERCE OUR LIPS!

LOOK! $5000!! . haha.

go school today. yixian didnt come. he sent ah john to his camp. ah john today go NS! LOL. after school go magic wok with huiqi rachel and yvonne.pei them to eat. then zhenyong and yixian came. lol. zhenyong go call my mother number which is my old number and scold ' hey idiot ' then my mother HUH!? then he scare tio faster kup. haha. after that go home. bathe then meet caiyan at plaza at 5pm. go kopitiam pei him eat.then rachel and yixian came. then go up k pool slack slack slack. whole day slacking. how boring. then yixian didi guo qiu come plaza meet us for awhile. he kana beaten by a sec 2 guy la. fuck . and he is like only sec 1 so small size still. see thee the blueblack feel so heartpain. yixian was damn dulan. go up plaza tell people. anyhow look for that whoever ernest number. yixian ask him come out talk. say what mother dont let or whatever.in the end caiyan ask him come plaza meet. ask him to bring his mother along if his mother dont let or whatever. daryl was damn angry also. the ernest so tall la. wtf.we some people go for the taiji only. we go 363 settle.so everything end with a slap. yixian slap damn hard.okay. go back plaza again. slack again. then huiqi and gail came.we go joe's corner eat. vicky came. go up plaza talk cork with kumar. haha. whatver .then gail yvonne yixian huiqi all go home around11+pm. left me and vicky so me and her go joe's conrner drink water. then pikachu weiliang ah be BG come join us. was laming around. and walk home around 12+pm.
talk to rachel yvonne and the steve? haha. he so childrish.after he kup. asked kumar called in. rachel fall asleep. conference with kumar yvonne robin and sen. haha . sen give me the feeling like ah boy. i think of ah boy whenever i saw him. maybe its because the way they treat girls. hah. whatever

i think i can continue living my life happily without him.i ask him will he still care for me when i'm sick.he didnt reply. like ah shun say he outside knows so many girls. sure got fetch girl go out want what. after hearing what ah shun say.then i know all along im lying to myself. i asked myself do i really love him that much? thinking for the whole night.till now i still dont know the answer. but i can move on with my life. and i will move on. okay whatever shit.

didnt attend school today was so sick to wake up.as i got asthma then find it very hard to breathe. so stay at home and sleep. wake up at 1+pm online and go sleep again.i got fever! not high la.only 38 degree .then 7pm meet gail and yvonne at plaza go up heard that underage cant go in k pool and woodball anymore.how sad. then we go mall awhile. go see the watch and its not there anymore! how saddening. whatever. so kumar ask me go meet them. then we go plaza kumar and dalton come. then yvonne sallly and gail go up. then left me kumar and dalton there.haha we dont know what to talk.dalton was too shy. whatever. so awhile more dalton have to go home as he got probation. then me and kumar go up and meet the rest.slack at plaza play pool with ahkow and sen.then heard that yixian was drunk. aiya dont know whats wrong with she and ah john also.both seems so sad. huiqi came too. around 10+pm huiqi and gail went off. then me yvonne sally kumar sen patrick down there talk cork. kumar ask me to go rounding he use either patrick or sen bike to longbang me. and i say later accident so i'll just go down there see him ride and support him when he accident i help him call 995. haha. then he at there kpkb . touchwood.haha. sen ask if i dare to sit on his SP anot.cos kumar say if i sit i will scare one. lame. talk cork then help sen look after counter. he teach me use that thing. haha. around 11+pm walk home without telling them. then sen tot where i gone to.
very very boring!!!

go school. feel so sick. sleep from chinese to physis. during physis lesson sleep halfway. got the dotn know what fire what shit la. then everyone going out of the class. i still inside sleeping.then gail they all act as if real like that. say what if you dont want wake up and run you wont get to see ah boy anymore. haha.whatever. when i wake up and get out of the class. rachel they all dont know run where. then i follow the crowd to the field. then feeling so lost.haha. whatever. after school rush home take my canvas board and rush back to school. got art club. do my canvas. never really do la. was slacking. and i was so bored. i got nothing to do and it take so long for the paint to dry. so i go around the class and disturb people.ahha. after school go home. told dalton that im going plaza. in the end huiqi dont want go. then never go. sleep awhile then wake up . heard some news from plaza.missed the show. should have go man. watch tv and online.then just talk to sen on the phone. then talking to rachel and ah shun going to call in?
okay i'm sick now! thinking should i go school tmr anot.

go school like normal? during english lesson. so funny. jasonyap was such a joker. whole class laugh like shit. haha. then after recess was history. i didnt copy any note as my stomach was so pain. is not stomach , i dont know whats that but somewhere there la. then the MR NG keep coming to us ask us to copy. then getting so irritated. and i scold him kpkb ask him to shut up! then he actually wanted to report me but valerie they all keep helping me to say. whatever shit. after chinese there's a fight. haha. dont know what actually happen.like usual we was running here and there outside the class. mrs krishnah came.and we were still outside the class . then jek keong tell huiqi mrs wong coming. then i tell huiqi he talk cork one la. then suddenly someone shout. VP COME LIAO!then i look back. everyone chiong back to class. anyhow shout .and we settle down.haha. got sex talk.everyone getting so excited. haha. VP came to our class. whatver.
after school go suki sushi pei them eat. i didnt eat.no money!how sad.saw mervyn there.
so long never see him already. still as handsome as before.ahaha!
go home change . father buy durians back. how nice. and it costs $180!!. how expensive.wth.
father drive me to hougang mall. meet huiqi and gail. walk to plaza meet rachel. haha sen working at k pool. how nice. play pool with huiqi . loser punch. and i win! haha.then go raiders meet yvonne. leonard called. he wanted to meet me. and i asked for that $40 and he said he later pass to me . then we go hougang mac and eat. i called him and he bastard me. idiot. eat there and study. haha having lots of fun. study untill 8+pm . and go back plaza play pool untill 9+pm and walk home.and i got feeling im going to fall a sick soon. my throat is so xinku .

after school go home. sleep untill 9+pm. now still thinking of what can i do?
i still need lot of money. not enough.

my mother,relatives and my mother friends
said i've slim down alot.! how happy!
but my friends say i'm getting fatter each day.
saddening.

on diet. help on saving money too.
one stone kill two bird.how nice.

wake up at 1+pm. online. chat msn till 4+pm . bathe and everything. go mall meet gail. study at macdonald . then eat at kfc and decided not to study anymore. no mood. so we go shop around.
and i got so many things to buy. I NEED MONEY LA! NO MUCH TIME LEFT!
how sad. then go home around 8+pm.go home bathe and then use laptop and draw untill now. and its already 1.27am. so can you imgaine i'm facing computer for around 5 hrs looking at his picture.haha. whatever. not bad. i've already save $50 from yesterday till now. still NOT ENOUGH! everything so expensive.

haha. i msg him. i say you can no need reply la because he said he busy. and he really never reply all my msg. how sad. i take up the courage and ask can he not go? but he never reply.
actually i wont know if he go overseas got come back anot. because he wont let me know if i'm not wrong. hahas .

5 months ago is he crazy over me. sad over me.cry over me.do stupid stuff because of me. and now.
5 months later everything upside down. i'm crazy over him.sad over him.cry over him.do stuff because of him.


still remember. 5 months ago
before i accept him.
i tell him that i scare to get into a relationship
i scare that i'll get hurt.
and he answered ' which relationship wont get hurt.?
he said he cant promise me in the future he wont get to hurt me.
in the end is i'm the one who hurt him.



5 months later .
i say what if i get to hurt you again.
he say he not scare or whatever.
ya right. i'm the one getting hurt. how nice.


maybe its true that he don't love me anymore
maybe all along i'm just lying to myself.
maybe i should have really give up on it.
anyway. no matter what. i'll still wait for the answer after my N level.


haas. i feel like pleasing him
DONT GO! DONT GO OVERSEAS TO WORK!.
STAY IN SINGAPORE WITH ME!
whatever? thinking too much. lame

wake up at 2+pm. bathe and everything meet huiqi gail finna and grace at blk 15 then me huiqi and gail go ktv. sing untill 7+pm then go outside there smoke.then got this uncle. come talk to us. starting we was quite okay la. then he ask us tmr come down again then he come join us? then abit out of question. then he ask where are we going tmr. then we say town? then he ask if he can join us anot. and he got the pervertic look.omg. damn scary.then we go off he follow us. we rush into the girls toilet. thought he went off. then when we come out.he suddenly walk from our back.we was shocked.! then faster run down. then he give us the pervertic smile. lucky he never follow us down. damn scary.walk home after that. didnt go drink with kumar they all already.reach home not long was playing computer suddenly heard someone shouting for my name.look down the window . leonard yiceng and daniel. they're going net force to play lan.go out chat with them awhile and they leave.



feeling damn down right now.
he's leaving singapore.
he going thailand and philipines.
i cried when he said he going there to work.
i feel so much like asking him can he don't go?
but will he listen? will he even care?
i'm nothing related to him anymore.
hope he will still come back.
i'm going to buy him alot of things.
whatever.hais.

around 10+pm . cannot stand being alone at home. think and think.very sad.
so faster get to changed and bus to leonard house and find him. we go rivervale plaza slack.
i tell him that ahboy is leaving singapore for work.
he say he sure go there find prositude.
he said something that i find it quite true.
he say ' give up la. he dont love me anymore. if a guy really love that girl no matter what he also wont break with you. no matter what he also wont break your heart.'
so i ask him back . if you and his love one get together.because you want her to study. she quarrel with her parents because of you. will you break?'
he answerd. ' NO. i wont . i will wait for her to break with me first. no matter what. i'll not break.'
and he said ' if he still love me . he wont ask me to forget him.and also wont treat me so cruel.'
he's a guy. he understand what a guy think. so i got nothing to say .

and leonard want go interview for jockey . is a very dangerous job.omg. i dont wish to see him die so soon. advice him not to go. but still he insist on going. wish him good luck then.
when he become a real jockey.his life would be in danger.so what if he earn a lot?
i ask him ' you earn so much for what ? later you die also no use. give your father ar?'
he say ' okay la. i will give you 2% of it ' haha.
still hope he wont go for the interview.

he next week will get $100 for selling the cards.lol.
he say he will give me $40 if he get to sell away.
i ask him. i wont know if he got sell away anot.
he laughed. next week go drinking his treat. how nice.
go home around 12.30am.

sleep untill so nice .then around 3+am. kumar called. i ask him why call me at this time.and he still can answer me say he want disturb me one. then talk to him awhile.very very tired.so i go sleep.go school. we go to clementi ITE.on the way there.in the bus jason yap was such a joker. make us laugh like fuck.all the silly action from him.haha.the ite not bad la. the lesson not so boring.the teacher down there keep giving us sweet to eat.then recess have macdonlad.chat awhile .then go for tourism class.then the teacher.damn funny. i love the way she teach.entertaning.laugh for the whole lesson.so around 3+pm go back hougang.teacher drop us at gail bus stop. take bus home. bathe and sleep. wake up at 7+pm .leonard asked me go drink.kumar ask me go hougang ave 8 find him and dalton they all to slack.huiqi ask me go hougang mall/plaza with rachel. so in the end leonard aeroplane me. didnt go drink in the end. so i around 8+pm go hougang mall aijisen find huiqi and rachel. wait for them to finish their food. finna and sheila came. slack awhile. then me rachel and huiqi go plaza. saw kumar dalton ah hong they all. go up plaza together. again kana disturb by them.play pool with huiqi.she went off after that.then play pool with rachel. kumar say dalton wan play pool with me. then wait for yixian and yvonne to come. rachel went off.slack around.go joe's corner to eat. august came to borrow $ 10 from me and yvonne. go up plaza pei yvonne use computer.then around 12.30am like that walk home from plaza. bathe and use computer.
and just now in k pool kumar say dalton want play pool with me.ask me go play with him.
and i thought he just jisiao me . make me shy or whatever.
then just found out that is really dalton that want to play pool with me. how lame.

have a very very scary dream. bad nightmare. scare untill when its time to wake up i dont dare to get out of my bed. untill the sun is up then i dare to get up.prepared and everything.saw dickson chua at bus stop.the handsome one.LOL he just missed his bus.and he was late so he offered to long bang me to school. i said that i can wait for another bus but he insist on sending me to school.haha.how nice.drop at plaza .go school , keep telling them that got handsome send me to school.haha.they all got irritated.whatever. now i only study for math..ahaha. give up on SS history chemistry and physis.haha.so most of the lesson dont have to study. art is giving me so much stress. no much time left for art.how stressful. after school go 805 eat.after eating go home . bathe play computer. and kumar called.talk to him then changed and everything.dont really feel like going out.but shirley want go out so me and huiqi go entertain her.haha.huiqi cousin drove her to my house here. she called me say she is behind my house.and i didnt know her cousin drive ferrari and i didnt know her cousin intending to send us to plaza.and SHE DIDNT TELL ME!. so i ask her come my house. then she meet me already then tell me her cousin want send us.omg.how sad. we bus to plaza.meet shirley then we walk to mall to gelare and eat waffle ice cream. after that we go plaza play pool then go joe's corner and pei shirley and eat. junxing desmond toh and junxing girlfriend come join us. rachel came too.desmond ask why i nowadays dont want talk to him.aha. i also dont know? crap alot of jokes. all saying lame jokes.laugh like shit.after that go up to plaza again. saw kumar keep disturbing me with dalton.how irritating.then ah hong ask if the one he msging is me? then ya. so paiseh la. walao. make myself paiseh only. aha. there's something on. should not mention. play pool again. then go kopitiam with caiyan awhile then play pool again. how boring.then go mall buy shilin. huiqi went home.msg kumar and kp him for disturbing me and dalton and he tot i angry.lol i'm not so petty.then me and rachel go back plaza find yixian and pepper john they all.john is another joker.aha,slack awhile and walk home at 10+pm ..kumar is so irritating.keep spreading around me and dalton. saturday he ask me to drink. he say he going to ask dalton along. then ask me wan go anot.so i say okay lor.that day then see first.then he untill like as if dalton go then i want to go.wth.whatever. going to study soon. haha.and i mean really study. bye

wow. today is kumar jazzmine and sandy birthday. aha. talk to kumar on the phone last night to 2am. so tired of going to school.still have to go school.sleep for the every lesson. so tired of studying today.aha. then last lesson is test and revision .got three period of it. i study! i was so serious in my work. then that jason yap keep coming to disturb say want teach me this and that but he dont even know a single shit thing. aha. then see them chase here and there .lame. VP keep coming to our room. kpkb. idiot.after school go plaza awhile then take 113 to kovan. kumar called ask me want go town with him to celebrate his birthday.haa.too bad i never go. feel so bad when someone ask you out on his/her birthday and you rejected them. then saturday he ask me want go drink with his friends anot. and i'll be the ONLY girl. i told him later i drunk they anyhow anyhow. aha. lame.whatever. go pizzahut eat. inside got too much embarrassing things happened. haha. about me and huiqi? should not mention here. will only make myself malu.
after pizzahut go walk awhile then go kovan mac sit down for awhile.then bus home. go home bathe then walk to blk 15 to find gail shirley and grace. quarrel with gail and went home at around 5+pm. just wake up

hHA!. decided to STUDY HARD for N level already!! and i mean really study for it. go school i buy exercise book for math note book. finally got one book to bring to school. wondering how am i suppose to study. no textbook. no nothing.how sad. then go math wanted to study. but dont know what teacher talking.still talking away. chinese lesson. teacher buey tahan us untill bring our whole class to general office outside sit. mrs wong miss lin mr anba come out kpkb at us.lol. ask gail to test me on oral conversation talk. haha. no need go got LCE. 2pm go hall settle down. N lvl oral. end at 4.30pm . fail like shit. damn difficult. whatever. go hougang mall meet huiqi gail and finna.talk at mac then go food court eat.vicky came. after eating go mac outside find benson and dwayne .then pei huiqi wait for jojo to come.then leonard whole group suddenly bang me from behind.give me a shock. scolded them with all kinds of vulgarites .whatever. then around 6+pm MRT to cityhall and walk to pennisula. go there saw laysheng . lol. buy my sweater. then train back home. bathe then rest awhile. dont feel like going out actually.but still go harmony park there meet leonard hongyi yiceng marcus daniel . return leonard his watch. see them gamble them. daniel lose untill hundred plus. haha. then leonard say if he win untill got $50 treat me to gelare to eat. but he win only $5 . only can treat me to mac to eat ice cream. nvm its enough. aha.then yiceng and hongyi went off at 9.30+pm .yiceng got probation.then the rest of us go to marcus house downstair and slack. talk lots of crap la. whatever. go home around reaching 11pm.reach home online awhile. and now talking to kumar on the phone. haha. how lucky . 12am to his birthday. and i'm going be to first to wish him. how honoured. aha.

this is the song. 25 minutes. can say is me and him de song. this is the first song we sing together. once me and him de favourite song.i'll still remember it! dont know if he still remember anot. whatever.



MICHAEL LEARNS TO ROCK-25 minutes

After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
but she's crying while she's saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends
But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her weddingdress
but she cryed while she was saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late
I can still hear her say.......

SUN TOO BRIGHT UNTILL VERY HARD TO OPEN EYES.

DO RE MI

ME AND HANDSOME.

LOOK RETARTED

TURTLE

PEAKCORK

WHAT IS SHE DOING!?

DOING NOTHING

HOW SEXY!?

SUN TOO BRIGHT.

SEXY POSE

WAS TREMBLING.

SCARE TO DROP MY PHONE

SMELLY HELMET

HALFWAY THROUGH THE RIDE.

NIGHT



what the hell. dream of him again! i dream that i ask him for patch. he said okay we'll give it a try again. again so happy. wake up sian half. how sad. was going sentosa with huiqi and rachel. then when i'm going to prepare. saw the hapiz online. im like so high la. chat with him. i tell him he's damn cute.aha.he give the shy face.omg damn cute.hah.then i delay the trip. then later my mum use my phone and record herself singing.then leonard called ask me go out.but i'm booked.aha.kumar and daltion also ask me to far east.lol. then keep wasting my preparing time. then faster rush to kovan thought they there already.then still have to wait for them for almost 1/2 hr. yixian and her brother guo an came.meet huiqi and rachel in the train. go to harbourfont and take shuttle bus to sentosa.then take the free bus and go to siloso beach. reach there only got guys come and take number from yixian.lol. then find a spot and sit. huiqi and rachel go play water. then me and yixian didnt cos yixian laiang.then i never bring extra cloths. then around 5+pm go wash up then me and huiqi go play the skyride and luge.how fun. interesting. and i fall from the stairs. fucking pain. not paiseh. aha cause i sit down on the floor. then the whole patch of skin from my leg come out. fuck pain. after the ride we take bus back to harbourfont and walk to vivocity. go foodcourt eat.then me and huiqi and guo an go play water . then yixian and rachel go pet safari. and around 9+pm called leonard. then he at there kpkb. say now what time already then call him. say i bo xim. whatever. then train back.then wanted go find them .somemore leonard watch is with me. then when in the train i called him. say i'm not going already.somemore so late already.aha.so alight at kovan and bus home.

i suddenly find that malay guys are damn hot. WEETS!

wake up at 2+pm . leonard called ask me go out.i say later then go find them. bathe and everything then go hougang mall meet gail shirley and huiqi. eat long john and we MRT to city hall. walk to pennisula . then we go in the pennisula plaza.OMG inside so many ah bu neh neh. how scary.then we like some monster to them like that.keep looking at us.then we faster get out of that place then walk to pennisula shopping centre meet laysheng there. he bring us to one shop. huiqi buy the jacket. i also want buy but not enough money so i reserve first.then laysheng went off.so we just continue walk around.then walk to marina square . go starbucks wait for vicky. then huiqi eat there. then walk walk awhile then go esplanade slack awhile kumar ask if want go meet him and dalton anot.but dont know where they going so see first. 9+pm like that train back to hougang and meet leonard they all.they waited for me for 5 hours already.lol.then i suddenly feel very xinku.feel like vomitting then i msg leonard say i'm not going to meet them i want go home. then he kpkb say make them wait for 5 hours then say not meeting them.so bo bian. go kovan take bus to plaza meet them. see them play dota awhile. then ah boy suddenly say can go his pub.then i keep pursuade them to pei me go ah boy pub and drink.then they dont want.cos leonard wear untill very lok kok . nvm. so go plaza downstair eat. then they dua me. never go drink. then we just go some void deck and slack.talk alot. then around 12+am. walk to gail bus stop take 82 home. leonard watch is still with me. lol.

i know what can i do to stop thinking about him.
physically toture myself. make myself suffer.
then i will only think about how xinku am i
and not think about how pain my heart is.
is a very bian tai idea.whatever. i dont care.

i dream of him again. he said after my N level then we can be together.
and we go out as friends. i remember i was so happy in the dream.
in the dream he also show me the girl photo . the mama sham
which he was suppose to show me to clear his innocent.aha.whatever
suddenly i just wake up. knew it was a dream. how sad. control my tears.
dont wish to cry anymore.

maybe what huiqi say are right.
why i want him back so much is because.
i still cant accept the fact that he mention the break.
why i feel jealous is because.
i cant accept the fact that he's not mine anymore.
why i always think of him where ever i go is because.
memories are sweet.and it will always be sweet.

still i dont know why. untill now i keep telling myself that one day.
just one day we'll be back together again.
although how much he say we'll only can be friends.
now he dont even treat me as a friend. still say when he got off he will
still spend his off day going out with me. rubbish.
when i ask him to bring me out to drink when he get his off day.
he say he dont know. . bullshit.
don't even dare to answer my call.
still say friends. sadded.

people always ask
why do i have to be so sad for a guy that is not handsome at all.
because i love him .
why do i have to go drink everynight because of him.
to torture myself.
why do i want to do stuff that would ruin my future.
feel less pain.enjoy myself.stop thinking about him.at that moment.
and go into some fantasy illusion. how nice.