ivon

i dream of him again. he said after my N level then we can be together.
and we go out as friends. i remember i was so happy in the dream.
in the dream he also show me the girl photo . the mama sham
which he was suppose to show me to clear his innocent.aha.whatever
suddenly i just wake up. knew it was a dream. how sad. control my tears.
dont wish to cry anymore.

maybe what huiqi say are right.
why i want him back so much is because.
i still cant accept the fact that he mention the break.
why i feel jealous is because.
i cant accept the fact that he's not mine anymore.
why i always think of him where ever i go is because.
memories are sweet.and it will always be sweet.

still i dont know why. untill now i keep telling myself that one day.
just one day we'll be back together again.
although how much he say we'll only can be friends.
now he dont even treat me as a friend. still say when he got off he will
still spend his off day going out with me. rubbish.
when i ask him to bring me out to drink when he get his off day.
he say he dont know. . bullshit.
don't even dare to answer my call.
still say friends. sadded.

people always ask
why do i have to be so sad for a guy that is not handsome at all.
because i love him .
why do i have to go drink everynight because of him.
to torture myself.
why do i want to do stuff that would ruin my future.
feel less pain.enjoy myself.stop thinking about him.at that moment.
and go into some fantasy illusion. how nice.