wake up at 4+pm. leonard called ask me want go find them anot. so okay lor. bathe online awhile. untill 5+pm then bus to sengkang and meet him yiceng and hongyi. slack awhile thinking where to go. still we dont know where to go. so we'll just go rivervale plaza macdonald and slack. yiceng dont know go where find one ez-link card.inside got $18 . so his treat for macdonald.aha.ceng heng came too. slack untill 7+pm we go leonard house void deck and slack. bring down poker card. they gamble. i slack there.then go leonard house take one bottle of beer for me. i drink they play. play untill 9.30pm . yiceng got probation, got to go. so they go home. then me and leonard 82 to puggol end. go there let me think of that time he bring me there.whatever. we sit there. chat alot. i ask him if he free lets go out together. he like dont want dont want like that. like dont wish to see or meet me like that. nvm. maybe what leonard say are true. guys are all the same. when they dont get what they want. they will do whatever they can to get it.and when they get it they will think that its not fun anymore and they will throw it away. talk to leonard alot. i told him how i feel about me and ahboy.
untill when he gets alot of mosqito bite then we wanted to get out of the place. then he insist on walking out of puggol end. and i'm like sososo scare. the whole road got nobody.then bo bian. walk lor. talk alot.help him think reason to break with his girlfriend.at least he is not as cruel as ah boy.whatever. i was like so scare untill we walk untill the next bus stop lucky got a bus came. and i keep pulling him to get up of the bus.aha. then we alight at benjamin house there. we wanted to walk back to rivervale plaza because we still got alot of thing to talk about. was actually going kovan to meet xingjie they all to drink. then leonard want dua them.wth. go rivervale plaza pei leonard withdraw money. then walk to veri nice to eat. then bus home. reach home around 12+am like that. watch tv . and gonna sleep soon.

go school. same thing.after recess we was about to go back class.Mr GUEI and the suzie checked out bag.then the suzie dont know talk to gail about what.then i say

me: okay okay.save your saliva.go.just go.
suzie: ... mrs wong... office.blah blah blah.
me: aiya SHUT UP LA. KPKB
suzie:(walk away) SIAO!
me:(laughing)what siao.you scold me siao!?
KPKB LA YOU!

OMG I FIND HER SO CUTE!?
maybe she just cant stand i always ask her to SHUT UP!
aha.

few days ago talk to jason yap about ah boy.
and why guys always ask girl the same question
when the girl just broke up with their boyfriend.
the question is. ' he fucked you? ' zzZzz
the answer is NO! . aha.
whatever.

after school go plaza pei them eat suki sushi.
after eating. go home. online. called leonard
and ask him bring me go drink. so around 4pm plus.
was about to sleep. leonard called. he's coming to my house.
so faster prepared.daniel came.then i go plaza meet huiqi and rachel first.
vicky yvonne finna came too.play a few pool. eat at hougang mall
then around 10+pm me and vicky bus to kovan and meet
leonard,daniel,xing jie, dickson chua, dickson lee.
buy four bottles of beer. go to some void deck and settle down.
vicky is not drinking. so we drink using straw.within 20 min we finish 3 bottles.
i drink quite alot. then me leonard go 711 buy water.chat about her girlfriend again.
dickson chua and xingjie go buy two more bottles of tiger.go back. we mix the casb and tiger together. they say will have more kik. so we mixed the whole cup and each person have to
drink finish the whole cup without stopping. and turn by turn. before that i drink around one bottle . then when i finish drinking the whole cup. feel so much like vomitting.then after awhile i vomited.omg. then after that drink again.was kinda drunk. after drink finish the whole thing
we slack awhile. chit chat.chat about what sex this and that. what the hell.
around 12+am walk home with vicky.

DRINK DRINK DRINK!
BRING ME TO DRINK MORE!
WAHAHA.

damn sad. viewed his friendster. got a girl write testimonial for him. say what his 2009 siao eh!? then he also got reply her testimonial. damn jealous. what can i do? i can't stop him from doing all this kind of stuff. heart damn pain. feel so much like crying.
now have to control myself from msging him. he's starting to think that i'm irritating already.
pain! i'm in pain! take away my pain. please. i can't take all this shit!
i need to go into some illusion . fuckshit!
how can he treat me this way!

19.02.2007
i was touched by all that you did
and decided to give you a chance.
you tried hard to walk into my heart.
you know my heart was with someone else
but you keep trying and trying.

21.02.2007
but i feel guilty to treat you this way
so i break up.
because i can't stand the way you
treat me so good.
the more you treat me good
the more i feel guilty.

23.02.2007
again.you didnt give up.
you tried all kind all stuff.
like giving me surprise at my house.
so i give one more chance
to let you walk into my heart.

26.02.2007
i feel so guilty.and maybe that
makes me feel unconfortable when with you.
so decided to end this up.
and i said that i can never be with you again.
and so you gave up.
and we just continue remain as friends

22.05.2007
you did what you promised.
and you made me the first girl
to sit on your bike.

and we would actually meet every week
on your off day.

slowly slowly . i'm falling for you
the feeling getting stronger and stronger.
and you said how much you love me too.
you keep asking for patch. but i didnt.
because of some gangster tingy.

30.05.2007
i buy something for you.
a lighter with your name gabriel engrave on it.
a big heart shaped lollipop.
and when i say i at pub with people i dont know.
you very worried for me.
and you act as if you're sick and run out of your work
and come fetch me away.

05.06.2007
when i've almost decided to patch back.
this thing happend.caiyan ignored me.
he very angry with me.
i told you about it.you started to avoid me
as you didnt want me to lose my friend.

10.06.2007
i decided to scarifice.
although how much caiyan dont like.
i decided to have you back
to myside again.

20.06.2007
this is the day you break my heart so deeply.
i know the reason partly because
of my studies.how can you do this?
how can you give up so easily.

i know the time we been together are not long.
and its true that you've walked into my heart.
you stand a place in my heart.
but you choose to leave.
how can you leave
when i need you so much.?

from 6pm all the way sleep untill 6+am to school. still the same. sleep sleep sleep.after school go eat at 805 then go K BOX .untill 7.30 and walk home.come home online awhile and sleeping soon.

WEDNESDAY

HI IDOL GRAND FINAL .
lee wei song came to our school .one of the judge.
george chan came too.
STYLES FROM BEYOND(from dancefloor)
OMG THEY ROCKS .
sulasteri win for the hi idol. she sing very well. nice.
styles from beyond dance damn nice. me and huiqi scream untill like crazy.
they damn HOT! COOL! CUTE! so into it!
make my heart skip a beat. haha. heart melted.
we . our two class shouted for ENCORE!!
but never. how sad.
then when we was about to dismiss from the HI IDOL thingy.
suddenly they say STYLES FROM BEYOND IS GOING TO PERFORM AGAIN!
OMG.GONE CRAZY.SCREAM LIKE CRAZY!
after they have dance me and huiqi wanted to take number from them.
we go to the backstage but they're not coming out from there.
so we go carpark there de exit and wait still never come down.
so shirley called and say ther at hall.we faster rush up to hall.
take photo with them.OMG I love the blue shirt so much.he damn CUTE!!
take photo with him. he gave his emaill address.OMG.make my heart melt.

OMG SEE.HOW CUTE CAN HE BE!
OMG OMG.HE DAMN COOL!

HAHA!!
MY HEART ALMOST STOP

after school go home changed and meet huiqi at blk 15 then we cab to harmony park.
tried on something.make me feel like vomitting.after that go plaza eat then go huiqi house awhile and i went home.reach home around 5 going to 6pm. bathe and sleep all the way.ALL THE WAY! dont really know what i'm doing.wanted to drink beer but cant because the thing that i tried cant mixed with beer . it may causes your life.whaahaha.whatever.bye

late for school today.do CWO . pick up all the litters in canteen with yvonne. no much litter. school was same la. sleep sleep sleep. cant concentrade on studies. after school mrt to town. leonard called ask me want go drink at night.then we go takashimaya pei huiqi shop around. go buy art stuff then go buy her zara shirt. then walk to plaza sing go THE BOX my sister shop to see see awhile then go food court eat.after that go cathay eat ben & jerry then around 8pm like that rachel's father fetch us home.reach home called leonard he didnt answer so now going to sleep soon. feeling very terrible.feel like vommiting.

this few days keep feeling that something is missing.and now i finally know what is missing.my heart is missing. is with him. he take away my heart. and i really can't accept the fact that he's not mine anymore. what can i say? i really miss him alot.

dream of him . i dream that we were still happily together. wake up find myself crying.is just a dream! i really wish i could never wake up from that dream. first day of school. still the same is just that time table all extend . no more free period no more self study. fucked. sad to know that friends around me know what is happening except me. i didnt know anything.whatever after school go home.sleep untill 7+pm use computer.got to sleep soon.

last night sleep at 5 +am. wake up at 5+pm. use computer. he said we'll only can be friends. and we'll still can go out as friends and he will still spend his off day with me. enough . this is already enough for me. decided not to disturb his life anymore.i'll stop asking him anything about this relationship.i'll try let go .i never felt so hurt before. never ever. now that we're not together he can fetch girl go out play already .everyone asking me to forget him. even him ask me to forget. is that so easy to forget someone? meet huiqi and gail at hougang mall at 7+pm . then go plaza play pool eat suki sushi yixian and finna came. feel like vomitting so go toilet trying to force it out but cant. got feeling going to stomachache soon. then go home around 9+pm . now at home.


i find this song very nice.

Meant to Be by MR.Sancho.

[Mr. Sancho speaking]
Yeah, this song right here
Is dedicated to my lost love
It took me along time, to gather my thoughts
And tell you how I feel
But all I can say is...I love you...and I miss you

[Verse 1]
You were just a friend of me
Love they way you brought out the best of me
We drove another, talked about it, we were meant to be
Baby do you feel the same just don't feel ashamed
I know, I found the cold and lonely you'll erase my pain
I understand you already got a man
Gotta tell you how I feel in case my life comes to an end
But I'm still here for you, real for you
I think that I would pack the steel for you, kill for you
Your all I need, so if you really wanna try
Follow your feelings they don't lie
Now dry your eyes and please don't cry
Our friendship won't be jeopardized
Would you do the same for me
Take the blame for me
Baby girl you know that I will never change for me
You know I tell you what I'm made of, tell you straight up
What my feelings for you are really made of

[Chorus]
Me and you...
we were meant to be
Together...Together...for all eternity
Me and you...we were meant to be
Together...Together...for all eternity

[Verse 2]
So baby tell me what you think
Yeah, I know...that you need some time to think
And did I catch you by surprise
I think I need to tell you how I feel inside
But baby just remember this
We gave each other our very first kiss
We learned about "the birds and the bees" together
Made a promise to be friends forever
And I don't want all that to change
And that you know how just I feel
I just don't want things to get strange
Cause I am here for you, real for ya
You know that I'll still shed a tear for ya, real for ya
Your all I need, so if you really wanna try
Follow your feelings they don't lie
Now dry your eyes and please don't cry
Our friendship won't be jeopardized

[Chorus]

[Mr. Sancho speaking]
This songs dedicated...to you Diana
I lost you a couple of years ago
And I never got a chance to tell you how I feel
So I made this song for you
And I want you to know
That I love you...and I'll always miss you

[Chorus]

when i'm suppose to get to sleep. ah boy called. but i didnt answer. so soon after rachel called me and say ah boy give her answer already.she say he's happier leading his life without me. and his feeling has fade. breakdown straight away. call him ah shun answer . ahboy didnt want to talk to me so ah shun help him say that he's happier. i keep asking him to ask ah boy to answer phone as i want him to tell me personally! cried like shit. this is the first time i cried untill like that. finally he answer. finally he talk. but he didnt say much . i dont know anything. he just say he got his reason. kup his phone. change cloths and rush out of house. walk to yixian house half way saw ah john walk together.cried. he ask me dont think already. meet yixian. after awhile i went off asking them not to follow. called caiyan so meet at plaza.and my handphone low batt. wait untill 2am like that caiyan havent reach so i go home. reach home on my phone and realise everyone was finding for me. i'm sososo sorry. was so touched that so many people that i unexpected was looking for me too like yixian sister benson . i'm so sorry to make your worry. i'm fine =) come home they ask me called ah boy ask he want to explain to me.i called.whats the point he didnt explain much he say he still love me but he got his reason.and just ask me not to do this and that say what when the time is right he will tell me. whatever. dont wish to cry.very very tired already. and now 3.36am already. for dontk now how many fucking hours i havent been sleeping. was thinking how am i suppose to spend tmr? everyone got their activity. find some enjoyable activity for me.good night. hope wont think while sleeping and wont cry while thinking =) .

was late for 30 min. reach leonard house at 9.30am. called him up then he say what ' im not going already i very tired ' then i say walao i downstair your house then he say KIDDING LA . scared me. go rivervale plaza eat macdonald breakfast. chat alot there.



then we go void deck continue our topic. lol bastard . then we back buy food for his mother then bug cigg and go his house. stomachache. damn pain.wait for him to bathe . watch tv awhile around 12 pm plus last min decided to go pulau ubin. i didnt want to go but he keep asking me to go. so we 89 to chang1i village walk to the terminal. lol. didnt spend much la.i only pay for the green tea the rest in pulau ubin he paid.


on the boat to pulau ubin.

reach there rent two sitter bicycle. he infont i behind. cycle untill siao . so many high slope to go. then we buey tahan we walk and push the bicycle up . we suddenly stop as heard alot of monkey voice. and got this broken hut. aha. then got a fews bangalas waiting for the durian to drop. intresting.




scary ar?

taking half way while riding.almost get out of the lane.aha

aha.finally today i can forget my trouble during at pulau ubin. we cycle to the end. is a beach again . got toilet and i wanted to used but i saw the toilet bowl jitao no mood to use. damn disgusting. full of ants.

see the ants. disgusted



beside the beach

wash our leg then cycle back . we like forever climbing slope like that. then we go back to the village at around 3pm plus return bicycle go walk awhile on the beach .

see the crab. so big!

we find a seafood stall and settle down. wanted to eat crab but if we eat we'll have not enought cash for tonight activity. so he eat mee goreng. too spicy i didnt eat. after eating got stomachache again. whatever i eat i get stomachache. dman pain. was raining we run to the jetty and get into a boat.and was so coincident la was on the boat with the same person that take the same boat with us to pulau ubin. aha. alighted at changi damn tired and wanted to take cab then i tell leonard ' wah how i wish you now get your bike' then he reply ' how you know i will fetch you ' still say what ' i know la. when my oiltank is finishing then i'll ask you go for rounding then share to pay for the petrol then round awhile then bring you go home then i go fetch girl girl go out play ' fucker sia him. bastard. then we decided to go OCH as i didnt go before and i don't dare to go at night. he say there was boring. i was so scare la. like fuck. then i didnt want to go in then he keep pulling me to go in. almost cried then i step into one fucking hole fuck pain then got one whole group of people walking towards us then we very paiseh so we walk more inside . then very scary la. got people inside. was shocked and scared to see people inside. thought is something else. walk around the first floor. and i pull him out.









walk out and cab home. bathe and everything and train to esplanade to meet gail and huiqi. talk alot. feel like crying but i dont wish to cry . still i cried. cant control. very very very of cryin already.around 7pm plus cab back to hougang mall. buy bubble tea drink . stomachache also because of the jelly that i eat. play a few rounds of pool with huiqi. then huiqi went off with huibing and esther so i stay at plaza wait for caiyan to come. he say he drive patrick de bike untill buang. lol. the first i asked caiyan when he tell me that he buang is ' how's the bike' then he say ' dont you concern about me ' lol whatever lame. bob come out already. saw bob aha. botak! he know about what is happening to me. keep asking me not to sad and ask me to smile .see them play pool untill 9.30pm like that . caiyan got probation and my mum ask me go down sin tua. he wanted take cab and fetch me there but bu soon lu so i walk there. huiqi called half way. go with her . see see awhile and go home. going sleep soon. veryr very tired

was talking to rachel on the phone till 3am plus. keep complaining my heart very pain. very very pain. i msg him is he happier leading his life without me? he didnt want to reply. intending to sleep.but cant get to sleep so i msg him ask him to get things clear at least i'll feel better.and he just reply ask me to put my effort on my studies and stop wasting my time on him. breakdown straight after recieve his msg.i just want to know if he still love me ? and is he happy with his life now anot? he didnt want to reply me. i sms him more than 10 over msg . he just didnt want to reply! why cant he just reply. is it so hard for him to answer a YES or NO! i'll feel so much better after knowing a YES or NO.but he just dont want reply. its torturing me like hell! I CANT LET GO WITHOUT KNOWING THE ANSWER LA! called up yvonne ask her help me call him. no use he wont answer. and finally he replied after soso long. but he didnt answer my question .whats the point. he just ask me to study hard.after N level he will tell me. he ask me to think of my future. ITS LIKE FUCK LA! knn. what future i no future la. i ask him back. n lvl. can he wait? by the time he'll be having another gf. he didnt want to reply . i saw his friendster and blog. its hurt me alot to see him like that. i send him a friendster msg and he ask me to forget him. cb la. just now say promise after my n lvl will tell me this and that. and now asking me to forget him . how am i suppose to. teach me la. whatever la. knn fucked up. didnt get to sleep. cant get to sleep. now its 8.41am. meeting leonard at 9am for morning breakfast. should update later on

wake up at 2pm plus online awhile. everyday also checking his friendster and blog and i didnt know why. meet huiqi and gail at ktv. sing sing sing. cry cry cry. sad sad sad.pain pain pain. fuck fuck fuck. huiqi cried too. can say everyone cried. cry like shit. ktv end at 7pm . go hougang plaza saw yixian and pepper there. then was actually going temple but ah john say cannot too many girls go. so i go home. reach home around 9 plus.bathe was so tired of doing anything.dont wish to cry so go sleep . wake up at 11 pm plus. chat on msn with ah shun ask if he know anything but too bad he didnt know. caiyan called. gail also.talk untill 1am like that .going sleep soon. just realise during this three days . after since he break with me . i havent eat any meal except for the morning breakfast with leonard. then just now at ktv at least got eat one chicken wing and i'm sosoos full already. was so fucked up. accidentally delete all my photo from my memory card.fuck fuck fuck shit

everything that he gave me

this is the first thing he give me

he know i like doreamon . he brought this two for surprise .

necklace. he ask me to turn behind and he just help me wear on.surprise too.

photoframe with our photo in it.

the small picture is to put inside wallet and bring anywhere we go.

(the picture is long time ago take de)
he said he like this photo very much but i dont think very nice.

two set of love letters from him.

beside letter he do this also.(inside the letter)

memories are sweet. everything is just a memories.

i still remember i promised him

i'll be the first girlfriend to bring him to zoo.

but i don't think i can . and i dont think he want to.

so let his next girlfriend be the first to bring him to zoo

sleep all the way untill 8pm like that. i think of it even when i'm sleeping. sleep also cry. cry like fuck. eyes damn swollen. rachel called ask what happen to my voice sound so sick. wake up go blk 15 meet gail yvonen and shirley. they go buy beer. didnt intend to drink but yvonne cant finish then i help her drink. breakdown. i'm so tired of keep cryign and crying. like fuck head. i'm going to sleep soon. i'm so tired already. tired of every fuck thing. tired of crying tired of thinking tired of heartbreaking. fuck fuck fuck .

cry to sleep last night. only get to sleep at 6am in the morning. wake up at 3 pm plus . eyes was so swollen . onlined awhile cried while listening to music.friends who know that me and him break up called and ask if i'm alright and ask me not to sad.at least they care for me. bathed and everything. wait for vicky come my house here. go out to void deck there meet her and benson then at letterbox saw leonard daniel and lauyiceng have a chat with them for a while ask them bring me go drink then go find vicky and benson slack awhile there then wait for benson to go off first to pei him as he's alone and he ride bike so after waiting for him to go off me and vicky deciding where to go.then suddenly leonard called ask if i want go drink anot go ave 8 find them. so me and vicky was like okay lor.


first we bus to hougang park there to take things from vicky friends then we walk to lauyiceng house there. heard alot of bike vrooom here and there.go where also think of him. wth while walking towards yiceng house breakdown suddenly cant control my tears. like fuckhead. reach the block called leonard meet him at 631 kopitiam control my tears then walk to some void deck daniel was there. then hong yi yiceng came. have a chat and i didnt want to drink because nobody pei me. and they are like playing mahjong there.we was like chatting and slacking there while waiting for kiam lum and his friend to come . then yiceng they say they at there kana caught alot of times already. then got this police car happen to drive past. then we act as nothing happen and we're already prepared to kana screen. thought the police car will stop but they stop awhile and drive away and uturn back again and drive away. so we continue talk cork then yiceng was like arranging the mahjong. then i ask what are he doing then daniel reply watching tv . HAHA! he use mahjong and arrange a set of tv with pictures inside. so we help him to build a SCV and controller.i took photo of it but fuckshit.those photo dont know run where.knn. whatever la. damn lame. then kiam lum and his friend reach so they play mahjong then me and vicky go buy bubble tea and drink slack there see them play mahjong and around 9.50pm like that got this uncle come down and like sort of scold us as we're disturbing them to sleep. so after that last round yi ceng was late for his probation so we any how throw those mahjong into his bag and he rush home.


so left me daniel leonard and vicky. slack at the void deck discussing where to go. so many suggestion but not everyone agree. got suggest to go fantasie and drink but not enough cash. got some stupid idea also like go borrow bike ( wave) from leonard friends and we go play learn how to ride but not ours scare later accident. and go steal leonard father car and go out play . we dont dare. then go suggest to go potong pasir cemetry or go puggol end feed dog but i dont dare! so we just go to the near by kopitiam blk 631 and sit down . the aunty let us buy tiger beer as vicky this year going 18 then they only check year so can. but vicky left after awhile then left three of us call afew bottles of tiger to drink. chat alot alot. leonard console me alot. he say he is guy he know how guys think the best . he ask me not to be cheated by guys sweet talk.because when guys lack of love they will seek for those who love them and sweet talk with them and make girls to accept them but when guys are tired of the girl he will just find any excuses like i'm not a good bf whatever whatever to break with her. i tell him that ah boy say break lor. he's not a good boyfriend no time to pei me this and that and he laugh saying that he thought only he would use this kind of lame excuses . whatever! after drinking was kinda seh. send him msg and still he didnt bother.didnt reply.


walk to foofy house walk around the park slack awhile then go back to kopitiam sit down. they eat we chat alot.they ask me dont find a bike boyfriend. its very dangerous . anyway what they say are so true. soso true i'm so agree with them. we chat alot all about bike or car. and leonard say he confirm want to get kawasaki at december. haha lets see then.he say he'll bring me where ever i want to go to.lets see then. we also talk about gangsterism. talk about their past taiji. then we go to some void deck slack again. talk about what muti million proposal. aha. leonard share his idea or earning big money. is a good idea guess it will work out . then we were like asking if under 18 or 16 can buy condom anot because some say can some say cant. so we go 711 and try they ask the aunty then the aunty shake head then i'm the only girl down there think the aunty will think that we want fuck or whatever. lame shit. go back slack untill 5am plus in the morning walk to foofy house downstair then they talk about what how people die .sound so scary was quite scare at that time la. then daniel and foofy go home. then me and leonard actually want cab home but too early.


so me and leonard keep walking and walking then got this uncle he fall from his bicycle. he had a hard time to climb up. and when he stand up he fall again. so me and leonard run towards him and help him. we had a hard time helping him up too.he didnt zip his pants la .its like omg! wth. then we follow behind him. he walk three small step and stand for a minute . so we decided to walk off first. then we walk untill quite far when we look back he pull down his pants and underwear beside the road. its like omg! and we're like what the hell is he doing. then he pull up his pants again. so we just continue to walk. talk alot about me and ah boy he and his love one. and i kick untill dont know what shit and my toe bleed like shit.fcuking pain like fuck. then walk to sengkang somewhere near leonard house de some block and rest for awhile then we decided to go leonard house and rest. at the lift down there he say he punch the notice board untill broken then i dare him to break another notice board and if really break i'll treat him macdonald breakfast but he didnt make it. go his house wait for him to bathe help him choose what to wear later on.then saw this perfume that ah boy always used.i spray abit and i miss the smell so much.then have to wait till 9am then he want pei me go eat macdonald breakfast . and its only 7.30am still got like 1 1/2 hrs to go. so he go sleep for awhile and i use his computer untill 9am faster wake him up and we go rivervale plaza eat breakfast then pei him go cut hair. he cut botak.ahaha. then buy cigg and bus home.reach home around 10 am plus in the morning.damn tired.

haha. i knew this will happen very soon. !
he whole day never reply me! victoria called me just now and told me she saw ah boy at kovan mac with his friend. and he's bring two helmet.so what does this means! i call him he didnt want to answer msg him didnt want to reply. and i ask him if want break just tell me dont have to avoid me or isit that you're waiting for me to break all this. and he said break lo since u say untill like that.WHAT THE FUCK LA! ccb . break down straight after i recieve his msg . i know he didnt love me like he used to. and this is what i get for hurting him in the past. i know last time i hurt him alot and now i'm getting my retribution. i'm getting so hurt right now guess he should be happy .he didnt want to tell me the actual reason .i ask if he really want to break he also didnt want to reply me call him also dont want answer. guess he's finding me so irritating right now. fcuker.

my beautiful , wonderful , meaningful , colorful life have been destroyed when DESMOND TOH came into my life and after years i've finally rebuild my life up and now this GRABIEL TOH is destroying everything away.fuckshit. TOH TOH TOH! BOTH TOH! is it i'm meant to be hurt by TOH. fuckshit.

what can i do now? cry? drink ?

can anyone bring me out to drink. i'm so fucked up with my life right now.

wake up at 8.30am. bathe and rush to hougang plaza and meet up with shirley and mingjing walk to school together. paint on the rest of canvas. art end at 1pm. so go home straight bathe and sleep. wake up at 5pm plus. online awhile and went back to sleep. watch tv and all.



sometimes i really feel that he doesnt love me like he used to anymore. i can feel it . he doesn't care like he used to . everytime take a very very very long time to reply msg. whatever man! I DON'T CARE!



MONDAY



didn't have enough sleep. less than 5 hours of sleeping. wth.was suppose to meet at 12pm . but end up all very tired.so keep sleeping. i sleep untill 2pm like that. faster bathe and rush to hougang mall to meet rachel gail shirley grace yvonne i was soso late.lol. had aijisen . after eating we go hougang plaza lanshop to check on blog. was kinda lame la. play touch screen and pool. around 7 pm plus walk to hougang mall meet up with yixian and finna. wait at mac for rachel to go buy her dog stuff. then we cabb to marina south. our cab uncle don't really know how to go so we follow yvonne their cab. and their cab bloody hell go so slow then keep brake make us feel like vomitting.when around there our cab uncle then overtake yvonne they all and make us feel so much better. have so much fun there. was so hot la and i'm like wearing jeans and cardigan because was suppose to go ice pub after steamboat but rachel cant go home late and was cancel .should have wear shorts and tee . we fried the prawn and it was like still alive. then they will move wan. so disgusting feel so bad .we're killing life. we wanted to take video of a prawn struggling when bbq them. then i go put butter on it and the prawn jump out on the table. everyone jump behind and shout like crazy. me and shirley jump to another table squat down. then wah almost cry. scared me !! i didn't eat much . eat 5 crabballs. lol. then everyone was like keep scolding vulgar la. eat untill very pekchek but fun la. everyone kana burned by the butter but i didnt la. because i didnt eat! aha. then shirley keep cooking the crab. then the crab will move want lor. how disgusting. anw then i ask them to feed me . like crab prawn and blah blah. because i didnt want to dirty my hand . how evil.after eating we take photo. then when we wanted to take group photo of me rachel yixian gail and yvonne. got one cockroach walk over my leg! how disgusting ! i can feel so many leg on toes crawling . and i jump and scream like crazy ! we take bus to MRT. and train home. and i was injured . my leg bleed. i drop at kovan and bus home. reach home only stomachache and go shit. then later rachel tell me she laosai also. do my art and talking to rachel yvonne and finna. yvonne finna laosai also. lol shirley only stomahache only. LOL. chat untill 4.30am like that i went to sleep as tmr still need go school.


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DUMB FACE!

lastly

SUNDAY



stay at home whole fucking day. wake up at 4pm plus. lying on the bed and rot. play computer around 10 pm plus caiyan called. talk to him then rachel call in also. yvonne also call in. chat untill 5am like that i hang up the conference and use laptop and watch finish my the silence. watch untill 9am in the morning. cry like fuck. damn bloody sad. then faster go sleep cos left afew hours of sleeping before going out to celebrate rachel birthday