ivon

damn sad. viewed his friendster. got a girl write testimonial for him. say what his 2009 siao eh!? then he also got reply her testimonial. damn jealous. what can i do? i can't stop him from doing all this kind of stuff. heart damn pain. feel so much like crying.
now have to control myself from msging him. he's starting to think that i'm irritating already.
pain! i'm in pain! take away my pain. please. i can't take all this shit!
i need to go into some illusion . fuckshit!
how can he treat me this way!

19.02.2007
i was touched by all that you did
and decided to give you a chance.
you tried hard to walk into my heart.
you know my heart was with someone else
but you keep trying and trying.

21.02.2007
but i feel guilty to treat you this way
so i break up.
because i can't stand the way you
treat me so good.
the more you treat me good
the more i feel guilty.

23.02.2007
again.you didnt give up.
you tried all kind all stuff.
like giving me surprise at my house.
so i give one more chance
to let you walk into my heart.

26.02.2007
i feel so guilty.and maybe that
makes me feel unconfortable when with you.
so decided to end this up.
and i said that i can never be with you again.
and so you gave up.
and we just continue remain as friends

22.05.2007
you did what you promised.
and you made me the first girl
to sit on your bike.

and we would actually meet every week
on your off day.

slowly slowly . i'm falling for you
the feeling getting stronger and stronger.
and you said how much you love me too.
you keep asking for patch. but i didnt.
because of some gangster tingy.

30.05.2007
i buy something for you.
a lighter with your name gabriel engrave on it.
a big heart shaped lollipop.
and when i say i at pub with people i dont know.
you very worried for me.
and you act as if you're sick and run out of your work
and come fetch me away.

05.06.2007
when i've almost decided to patch back.
this thing happend.caiyan ignored me.
he very angry with me.
i told you about it.you started to avoid me
as you didnt want me to lose my friend.

10.06.2007
i decided to scarifice.
although how much caiyan dont like.
i decided to have you back
to myside again.

20.06.2007
this is the day you break my heart so deeply.
i know the reason partly because
of my studies.how can you do this?
how can you give up so easily.

i know the time we been together are not long.
and its true that you've walked into my heart.
you stand a place in my heart.
but you choose to leave.
how can you leave
when i need you so much.?