ivon

third post today.
dont know how to say.
i feel very useless.
im like a burden to my family.i dontknow.
everyday go out
everyday take their money.
shout at them whenever they shout at me.
never show any respect to them.
never work .
never earn for them .
keep saying want faster earn money
and pay my father back that $200 for violin
but i never work?! how do i get those money!!!?
i feel so uselesss.
i keep telling myself that i will prove them wrong one day.
i will learn hard violin and play for them one day.
but i guess it may take many many many years
for that one day to arrive.
i everyday go out. come home online/chat on phone or sleep.
dont even have the timr to learn violin
or can say dont even want to take time out for violin
can also say lazy to learn violin.
is like. i dont know.
maybe im really 3 min those kind.
i also feel like learning piano.
learning piano is what i always wanted to learn.
but i dont know why i choose violin.
and i really wish i can learn both of them.
i dont know.
theres so many thing on mind.
what should i do.
very very messy