ivon

this few days i think alot.really really think alot. i think about all the think. and i wanted to give up.YES give up. i feel so useless being a girl,have to make myself like i cant live without him like that. but all this thinking just last for a few minutes.everything turn back to the same still. and i still the same keep disturbing his life. sending all kinds of sms knowing that he wont reply.what for? i dont know? just to let him know how i feel.but he dont bother. so whats the point?
i feel sososo jealous. i dont know why. now he dont even reply for a normal msg.
i wish i could stop disturbing him.i find myself so irritating. control me!
after N level then say . i dont know how to concentrade on my studies.
19 more days to N level! stress.


thinking of N level is comming.
then manfred and jonathan will be coming out.
he will be giving me an answer.
my freedom are coming.
and means i have to go and work.