ivon

omg its 3.14am now. and i still havent sleep. tmr still got school leh.
whatever. i feel kinda bored so i go read his blog.

i saw one of the post saying that he promise one girl that when he get his bike. he'll let that girl be the first girl to sit on it. i remember he said this to me before.
i was quite disappointed as i was so touched at that time as i thought he only say it to me and thought he mean it , never thought that before me he already say to other girl .nevermind this is already the third guy that say this to me .used to it. i'm thinking issit he used this sentence whenever he's woo-ing girls? so i msg him saying this ' isit that you tell everygirl that you promise her to be the first girl to sit on your bike? ' he replied ' no ' . but the truth is that he did say it to another girl .

after reading his blog.i really wonder if he takes this relationship serious? although i'm the one breaking his heart but i'm serious. i never never never thought of playing anyone feeling.maybe he will think that i'm playing with his feeling. but i really never.what so fun about playing others feeling? i did tried to like or even love him but he's not the type that i want .he's really treat me very good. all my friends envy me. have such a good boyfrien but i just feel unconfortable with him.

i really wonder if he really takes every relationship serious.because most of the girls mention in his blog is all with ' i really love her ' . and there are so many girls. and he tell me he only serious with 2 or 3 ex girlfriend . but his blog write untill he seriously love the girl soso much.
and now i'm wondering if he really serious with me?

Do everyone think of her/his ex often? even when you don't love him/her ? i do ,and i feel quite weird that why am i think of him that often. is that normal for everyone ?
maybe he's my first boyfriend thats why.theres still feeling in it.

i really do feel sad when he don't bother about me but i know my heart is with someone else.

that time when go ice pub drink with him i feel so bad.that time i was like crying.and he sit beside me keep asking me what happen and ask me tell him.but i didnt because no one know. me myself also dont know why? so i ignore him. he show me picture and tell me how he feel . and i remember the last sentence he say so clearly before he go to his friends table ,i think he quite pissed off la because i keep ignore him. he said ' you forever don't know how does it feels like when worrying for people '
i know how does it feels like. i do . at that time i didn't care about how he feel. and i actually send him this sms. i send him ' what if i tell you i only go after you bike money and everything ' i didnt think much at that time .
i tell my friends i send him that. they say me. say i'm so bad.

i also don't know whats wrong with me . why am i saying out the past?
but i feel so much relax when typing all out.

its quite sad to know that leonard mervyn and foofy they separated already.they didnt go out with each other anymore.and the saddest thing is when i'm down they are not there anymore. nobody pei me go drink already.gail they all also.they have to reach home early.

i really don't like to cry. i always think that when i'm down or sad cry is the best way to express out. will feel much more better when cry it all out. but after crying for lots of times. i'm really tired of crying.really tired

i think i'm not sleeping. because it's already 5.17am now.of cause not spend this 2 hours writing the whole post la. between this time i got play some games.if i go sleepat this time i cant wake up in time.so forced myself not to sleep =)